I have become increasingly aware that I am ignorant of the "rules" of social media. I started my Twitter account in an attempt to keep up to date on things my kids might become involved in online. I soon discovered it was a fantastic way to interact with other adults and yet still maintain my crazed lifestyle. (Time is not a commodity I have in any quantity.)
"Talking" to people on Twitter is clearly different from face to face conversations for many reasons. There are the obvious issues with typing one's conversations: lack of voice intonation and / or imprecise language can leave others offended, hurt, angry or merely scratching their heads in bewilderment. As we all check in at our leisure, there also leaves a possible communication gap. If I saw all of you in person throughout my day, I would stop and say, Hello!; How are you?; What's new?; Hope your dog is on the mend.; How's the new house coming along?; Heard from your brother lately?; Boy! Little Billy sure is growing up!... While this is no doubt impossible to do on Twitter if you are following more than 5 people, I still find myself trying to maintain that social standard. This leads me to the next problem: now I feel like a stalker.
Is it strange or thoughtful to DM someone and say, "Hey! I've missed you on Twitter. Hope you are well." Is it annoying or considerate to say hi every time you appear in the timeline together? Do my tweeps wish I would just leave them alone already or are they appreciative of my vigilance? Without body language, environmental context and voice, I can't ever be sure. And, excepting that rare person, no one is going to say, "Hey! back off! You're annoying!" Yes, there's always the unfollow button, but most people are not even likely to take that step merely because I say howdy too often.
Now we come to the forgotten tweets, those that seemingly go unnoticed entirely. These tweets leave me unsettled. Did they not see it? Did they merely have no response? Am I intentionally being ignored? Perhaps they were simply very busy. If I was speaking to John at a function and posed the question, "How's that new project going?", when at that moment, Susan Finklebaum whisked Johnny boy away to meet new husband number five, I would not be concerned about his lack of response. On the other hand, if John abruptly turned and walked away for no apparent reason, I would no doubt feel slighted and wonder at the cause.The most likely reason the tweep is not responding is: he is busy. Just. Like. ME. Perhaps I posed the question three days ago, and it seems irrelevant now. Perhaps, Mr. Jingleheimer is not reading the timeline or responses at all, but merely tweeting his thoughts as he goes about his day. Perhaps, Twitter is Sally's break for a moment and replying to everyone would be too time consuming. Maybe, Mike doesn't like me at all and is intentionally ignoring me. No matter the reason, sometimes, unanswered questions feel as if Johnathon just up and left, which leads me to conclude I am obnoxiously irritating.
This kind of crazed introspection leads me to the issue of photos. People are constantly apologizing for looking at each other's photos. Clearly, each person has chosen to post those photos for anyone with Internet access to view. I am willing to wager they have even been posted with the HOPE they will be seen. And, yet, we all feel a little odd looking through those pics, as if we are rifling through their underwear drawer. When you visit a friend's home, would you pretend not to see the photos on the wall? Would you refrain from saying, "That's a lovely picture of you on the mantle?" out of the fear you may be regarded as a stalker? Without contextual clues, we over-think a lot we do on Twitter. A prime example is the uncomfortable tweet. Most of us are stunned into silence by a very personal or painful tweet. The end result being no one replies at all, when a reply is most likely exactly what that person desires - to not feel so alone, RIGHT NOW.
If there are solutions to these Twitter talk conundrums, I do not know them. I can only continue to be honest and hope for the best, as I consistently feel I am a nuisance to my tweeps. I "talk" a lot. I will undoubtedly continue to wonder if I am tweeting too much, responding too much. Did you smile or maybe laugh when you read my tweet? Did you grimace? groan? Are you sick of seeing my picture show up in your timeline altogether? If that is the case, I can only hope you will just honestly say to me, "Hey! You are seriously driving me crazy here.". I would actually appreciate the heads up.
Perhaps this is one of the ways in which blogs come into play: conveying to others a deeper sense of who you are, how you think and feel, your musings laid bare. An avenue for others to get a better understanding of why you never commented on that tweet about Granny and her homemade farfalle hat. Then again, maybe not.
