Carp, like the one Ian enjoyed torturing and bashing to death, are oily freshwater fish native to Europe and Asia. Although, Ian caught HIS fish in a small town in Wyoming. Go figure. In Europe, carp fishing is the most popular freshwater fishing sport. In 1952, Richard Walker was propelled to major fame when he caught a 44lb common carp. Remember him??! Of course you do. In 2006, Al St. Cyr won $250,000 after catching a 43.18lb carp in Austin, Texas. It is rumored that Richard Walker was really pissed at the news. I mean, come on! All that money for a measly 43lbs.? fuggedaboutit.
In recent news, Asian Carp have been lurking around trying to crash some fish parties in the Great Lakes. These pushy, overbearing carp are notorious over-eaters and the native fish are concerned they will not have enough plankton dip to accommodate these big mouthed bullies. The presence of these carp are also a blatant attack on the Lakes' $7billion fishing industry. [Please Note: Asian Carp are not, however, involved with phishing attacks. Or ARE they? hmm..] "Sorry you're not on the list." isn't working so people are trying to give Asian carp the hint to take a leap elsewhere with the use of netting and electric stunning prods, even though EVERYONE in Illinois knows you can't catch carp with nets or electro-fishing. Duh.
Carp: –verb (used without object)
1.
to find fault or complain querulously or unreasonably; be niggling in criticizing; cavil: to carp at minor errors.
–noun
2.
a peevish complaint.
In "Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper", Madam Carp is an evil, slave-driving, dress emporium owner. Coincidence? I think not. In the "Exorcist III", a carp in the bathtub, awaiting its fate as dinner, prevents Dt. Kinderman from bathing and going home on time. In "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief", Stan Carp plays the apropos part of "Old Fisherman". Translated to Albanian, "carp" = "krap". In "The Little Mermaid", carp play the harp. THIS guy's Dwarf Fortress was attacked by carp! (This video will blow you away.)
Sometimes, people contract Carp Mouth or even Confluent And Reticulate Papillomatosis (CARP). The Magikarp Pokemon has splashing power to leap over mountains and can survive in highly polluted waters, but is pathetically weak and only flops around in battle. Also, around level 20, he will evolve in to Garydos (in case you were wondering). The Deftones wrote a song called, "Street Carp" about a guy who can't remember his own address and a girl with sharp, gold teeth who hates walls. Boaters are generally scared of carp because they leap out of the water and collide with their boats. 
Tom Felton is quoted as saying, "I used to have some fish, some nice little carp, but they got too big for the tank. I don't have any pets now."
Edward Lear wrote this limerick: "There was a Young Lady of Welling,
Whose praise all the world was a telling;She played on the harp,
and caught several carp,
That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
You can make your own homemade carp boilies IF you are not a bait snob.
Common Address Redundancy Protocol (CARP) enables multiple hosts to share the same IP address. CARP was started as an alternative to VRRP, probably because it is easier to say. Yet, the Copyright Arbitration Royalty Panels (CARP) were phased out in 2004 because of the enactment of the Copyright Royalty & Distribution Reform Act (CRDRA), which is clearly much more difficult to say. CARP can stand for Chemical Agent Resistant Point or Citizens Against Racism & Prejudice. CARP is also the acronym for Calculated Air Release Point, which I'm pretty sure is some sort of secret center focusing on strategic farting techniques. According to "The Weekenders", CARP stands for Cool And Radically Popular, but I'm not sure that's correct.
A carp CHUB is totally not what you think it is and the YouTube video "Carp Gone Crazy" is really nothing like "Girls Gone Wild". Fisherman benefit from the use of a Carp Unhooking Mat, which is entirely different from the Carp Hooking Up Mat. (But, we don't talk about that.) In some parts of the world, carp are dying off because of Koi Herpes. Oh, carp.
The world's largest carp, caught by Thai fishermen, weighed 260lbs. (Eat that, Richard Walker!) The song, "If I Were a Carp" from the "Final Fantasy" album "He Poos Clouds" contains the lyrics, "The horizon is our proscenium!" which makes it a popular and catchy sing-a-long tune for parties and car rides. In 2008, a Holy Infant student won the CARP quiz. ....yep.
Here is a joke about carp: Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting.
Ahhhh... good stuff.
 | In Poland, it is traditional to eat carp on Christmas Eve, although the general consensus is that carp tastes like river bottom. The most repeated carp recipe is to cook your carp on a heavily seasoned hickory board. Then, throw away the carp and eat the board. However, you can find several websites with tastier recipes than that. One such recipe includes a reminder to "remove the intestines" and suggests serving your carp in a gravy boat. (Presentation makes all the difference!) In response to the query: "Is there any way to cook this fish so it's actually eatable?" on Polish Forums, z_darius responded with the sound advice to keep your carp in fresh water without feeding it for a few days prior to cooking in order to "help the fish crap out all the mud it normally is plugged with". Mmmm... Carp for dinner, anyone? |
My conclusion is this: People in Japan like carp windsocks and also carp tattoos. You should totally buy this sexy t-shirt --->
AND.. Carp enjoy harp playing, but they still suck (literally - check those mouths!), which is why people like to shoot them with arrows. Also, this man is a total badass.
CARP IT UP, PEOPLE!
